My little one started ooo,aww,ohh,hai sounds...it's so amazing to hear them. This is her playing
style now. Yesterday she was so funny picking her own dirty diaper. My mom was trying to wash her in the sink after her poo-poo and she suddenly grader the poo diaper, tried to throw in the trash. Also, after having milk, before I cleaned her up, she already started wiping herselk with top!! It was so beautiful to see such a little girl trying to do her things. She's actually surprising me. Today is bhogi and I planned to do bhogipallu on her. So far, I don't have any telugu speaking couples with babies in the apartment so have to do for buddu alone. Other friends will come by. If everything goes fine, we are planning to do namakaranam ceremony in this weekend. I'm waiting to hear from pujari.
Little ones are so amazing. She motivated me to make new friends in the office and outside.
As a new mom, everything is so exciting, confusing. Most of the times, I turn to my mom for
suggestions. She raised 3 kids and 1 grand kid and all of them are doing fine.
Buddu will be reaching major mile stone, 3months by next week. She started raising her head and now she tried to keep it straight for atleast a minute. If I lay her on my legs with folding them in curve position, she tried to get up holding my fingers. Her touch makes me feel "MAA, Mother". She shows the difference between me and other people. She's so happy and actively playing in my lap. In the night, no need to tell! She just doesn't allow anyone to share our bed. She feels bed is strictly for mom and me.
Evening is a great fun time for her. She likes water so much. During the bath, my mom gives her
some time to play with water. She let her stand in the bucket and one has to see her expressions.
She giggles, laughs, smiles!!! I think that was a great excercise for her too. After bath, she takes her cat nap (now a days, she is taking cat naps for 10 or 15minutes during the day). She gets so active after that and doesn't sleep till 12 or 1AM!!!
Little girls make your life amazing and so beautiful.......
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Hard Moments......
Now my little one started recognizing me and responds to me. It's so amazing when the baby smiles at you. I spent quality time with my baby over the weekend. It's already been a week I started working. It's very difficult for me to say bye bye to her every day. For the time being, I'm going home for lunch but this may not continue for long due to my work hours. I wish I can work from home. I can't continue like this. Other way, I'm feeling bad for not able to spend proper time with her. I don't want my baby to go thru what I went as a child. I remember my mom going to fields leaving us back home with our nannamma. We wished our mom stayed home with us by the time we come back from school. We wished to see her smiling face but this was really luxury for us. Both my parents used to work very hard to give us better life. I was sent to hostel at age of 9 and I'm on my own for most of the tasks. I used to look forward for vacation to go home. But as mom used to go to field, I had to spend time either alone or with friends which I hate. I want to be with mom all the time. My baby shouldn't face this and especially I don't want to regret later for not being with her. She's amazing kid, a lovely gal. After complaints and arguing with myself, I set my goal. By her 2, I should be home completely either work from home or start something. But by 5, I should be able to start something on my own. With my second kid, I want to be home completely. As a mother, I don't want to fail. As a daughter, sister I didn't fail.
I may not give her everything but I've to give her the stregth and confidence to get everything.
Love you Buddu....
I may not give her everything but I've to give her the stregth and confidence to get everything.
Love you Buddu....
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wow! What a Journey!!!!....
It's been longggggggg time since I updated. Looking back all these days,
I feel "Wow!! What a journey".. I had happy, exciting, anxious, sorrow,
helpless moments.
Let me update in short.
I've applied for leave from Oct 20th (2009). Oct 17th was good. I slept for longer hours. From 18th morning, pains have started but I couldn't realize that they are labor pains. By evening, they were so strong that I couldn't handle it, so went to emergency around 1.30AM. Nurse has checked the cervix and told that only 3cms was dilated and gave tylenol and sent me home by 3.30AM. It's so hard for me to sit in the car. A funny thing has happened then (though not funny at that moment). Cop has stopped our car while we were on our way back to home. Front glass of the car has black paint which is against california rules. My husband told that I'm in labor and after checking me cop let us go. 19th, pains have become stronger and stronger. I walked for 4hrs and climbed the steps (our 15 step walkway in the Heights apartment) for 10times.
By night, it's like I can't take pain anymore. My husband couldn't help except crying. By night 11PM, he took a decision "whatever happens, we are going to stay in the hospital, I'll ask the doctor to induce or ceserian if required" Saying this, he took me to Cedars Sinai. Nurse ran all the ususal tests and said that I'm already into active labor as cervix has already dilated by 6cms.
They shifted me to labor room. I was given epidural and all of sudden everything has become normal. I don't feel pain any more. By 8AM, Dr.Lee broke my water saying that Dr.Sumen come by 11AM. After 12PM also, there's no sign of doctor. She was busy with another delivery in the next room. I'm so frustated. By that time, I already developed fever also. At 3PM, doctor came and with the help of nurse (nurses are so co-operative) I pushed the baby out by 3.49PM. Throughout my labor, my husband is so supportive. He surprised me by staying in the labor room. I never thought that he's going to be with me in the delivery!!!! While pushing, dr. keep on saying that I can see little one's hair, she got so much hair blah blah. Her head finally came out and total body followed immediately. Such a little creature. My husband shouted with happiness, "Buddamma, vachesindi bayatiki". She immediately opened her eyes towards her dad. Everyone was so surprised and told that "this little girl is so excited". I couldn't see her for 2minutes and those 2 minutes were like hours for me. Finally, I saw her when they were trying to wash her. Oh my amazing little one. I just can't express that feeling in words. She's the most beautiful one I ever saw on this earth. SHE is the ONE. Her dad gave the first bath and took pictures.
Doctor complimented that she got beautiful eye lashes. She's all wrapped up and taken to the nursery for some exams. (She also developed fever because of me). In the mean time, the nurse washed my vagina area and dressed me up, removed the epidural and gave me required IV fluids. After taking off epidural, I started feeling pains. It has become worse that
I had to take pain killers of high dose. They brought back my baby. It's so excited to see her.
I felt so happy and amazing. The way she looked at me, can't forget now also. She is such innocent girl. We were shifted to recovery room where I spent 3 days(because of fever, I had to stay for 2 extra days). My baby was kept in nursery as I didn't have much energy to look after her. The thrid day, I went to nursery to bring my baby. Some of the babies were sleeping and some crying, my little one just starring the lights. That made me so guilty, I felt as if her eyes are questioning me "mommy, why did you keep me here". Tears were running down and immediately I picked my baby to my room. I want to feed her, but milk has not yet generated. The whole picture of becoming a mom is totally different. I then realized that I'm just not ready for that. Everything is so different and new to me. The way I handle my baby to suck the nipple was very hard in the begining. By 4th day, milk has generated and started feeding her.
Not enough milk was generated so depended on formula too. I had enough milk for 3times initially and slowly increasing. We had to shift to our new home by oct31st. Though it's in the same apartment, it's very difficult to move. Moving was the bad decision. Finally we came to the new apartment and immediately baby has become sick.
She got fever 101 and we went to emergency. After doing blood and urine test, it was confirmed that she got urinary track infection because of E-Coli bacteria. Since she's 2 weeks baby, doctors want to check if that affected brain also. They've done lumbar puncture, horrible even painful than that, on her for 4times without success. I couldn't help her in anyway except crying. I felt so helpless. I just kept praying GOD for her health. After 15 painful days, the infection was cured and got discharged from the hospital. After coming back, we settled down in the new home completely. My milk has already dried up as I got fever again. Now I've to put my baby completely on bottle. I felt so guilty for this and cried all the time. Slowly, seeing her getting better day by day, I gradually recovered. First 2months were very hard for her. She just cried all the time especially in the night and me and mom were trying to soothe her in many ways but failed. She had reflux for which Zantac was prescribed. I tried few natural steps like holding her upright after each feed, giving gripe water etc.. By GOD's grace, she started improving by her 10th week. I slowly introduced 1teaspoon ful of rice cereal mixing in the cereal to her. This is her 3rd month now. I thank GOD for all HIS support and blessings. She is doing good
and I came back to work by Jan5th. Lot of things have changed in office. Slowly, I'm getting used to it.
I'll update frequently from now on. I miss my baby in the work place. I wish I could work from home.
I feel "Wow!! What a journey".. I had happy, exciting, anxious, sorrow,
helpless moments.
Let me update in short.
I've applied for leave from Oct 20th (2009). Oct 17th was good. I slept for longer hours. From 18th morning, pains have started but I couldn't realize that they are labor pains. By evening, they were so strong that I couldn't handle it, so went to emergency around 1.30AM. Nurse has checked the cervix and told that only 3cms was dilated and gave tylenol and sent me home by 3.30AM. It's so hard for me to sit in the car. A funny thing has happened then (though not funny at that moment). Cop has stopped our car while we were on our way back to home. Front glass of the car has black paint which is against california rules. My husband told that I'm in labor and after checking me cop let us go. 19th, pains have become stronger and stronger. I walked for 4hrs and climbed the steps (our 15 step walkway in the Heights apartment) for 10times.
By night, it's like I can't take pain anymore. My husband couldn't help except crying. By night 11PM, he took a decision "whatever happens, we are going to stay in the hospital, I'll ask the doctor to induce or ceserian if required" Saying this, he took me to Cedars Sinai. Nurse ran all the ususal tests and said that I'm already into active labor as cervix has already dilated by 6cms.
They shifted me to labor room. I was given epidural and all of sudden everything has become normal. I don't feel pain any more. By 8AM, Dr.Lee broke my water saying that Dr.Sumen come by 11AM. After 12PM also, there's no sign of doctor. She was busy with another delivery in the next room. I'm so frustated. By that time, I already developed fever also. At 3PM, doctor came and with the help of nurse (nurses are so co-operative) I pushed the baby out by 3.49PM. Throughout my labor, my husband is so supportive. He surprised me by staying in the labor room. I never thought that he's going to be with me in the delivery!!!! While pushing, dr. keep on saying that I can see little one's hair, she got so much hair blah blah. Her head finally came out and total body followed immediately. Such a little creature. My husband shouted with happiness, "Buddamma, vachesindi bayatiki". She immediately opened her eyes towards her dad. Everyone was so surprised and told that "this little girl is so excited". I couldn't see her for 2minutes and those 2 minutes were like hours for me. Finally, I saw her when they were trying to wash her. Oh my amazing little one. I just can't express that feeling in words. She's the most beautiful one I ever saw on this earth. SHE is the ONE. Her dad gave the first bath and took pictures.
Doctor complimented that she got beautiful eye lashes. She's all wrapped up and taken to the nursery for some exams. (She also developed fever because of me). In the mean time, the nurse washed my vagina area and dressed me up, removed the epidural and gave me required IV fluids. After taking off epidural, I started feeling pains. It has become worse that
I had to take pain killers of high dose. They brought back my baby. It's so excited to see her.
I felt so happy and amazing. The way she looked at me, can't forget now also. She is such innocent girl. We were shifted to recovery room where I spent 3 days(because of fever, I had to stay for 2 extra days). My baby was kept in nursery as I didn't have much energy to look after her. The thrid day, I went to nursery to bring my baby. Some of the babies were sleeping and some crying, my little one just starring the lights. That made me so guilty, I felt as if her eyes are questioning me "mommy, why did you keep me here". Tears were running down and immediately I picked my baby to my room. I want to feed her, but milk has not yet generated. The whole picture of becoming a mom is totally different. I then realized that I'm just not ready for that. Everything is so different and new to me. The way I handle my baby to suck the nipple was very hard in the begining. By 4th day, milk has generated and started feeding her.
Not enough milk was generated so depended on formula too. I had enough milk for 3times initially and slowly increasing. We had to shift to our new home by oct31st. Though it's in the same apartment, it's very difficult to move. Moving was the bad decision. Finally we came to the new apartment and immediately baby has become sick.
She got fever 101 and we went to emergency. After doing blood and urine test, it was confirmed that she got urinary track infection because of E-Coli bacteria. Since she's 2 weeks baby, doctors want to check if that affected brain also. They've done lumbar puncture, horrible even painful than that, on her for 4times without success. I couldn't help her in anyway except crying. I felt so helpless. I just kept praying GOD for her health. After 15 painful days, the infection was cured and got discharged from the hospital. After coming back, we settled down in the new home completely. My milk has already dried up as I got fever again. Now I've to put my baby completely on bottle. I felt so guilty for this and cried all the time. Slowly, seeing her getting better day by day, I gradually recovered. First 2months were very hard for her. She just cried all the time especially in the night and me and mom were trying to soothe her in many ways but failed. She had reflux for which Zantac was prescribed. I tried few natural steps like holding her upright after each feed, giving gripe water etc.. By GOD's grace, she started improving by her 10th week. I slowly introduced 1teaspoon ful of rice cereal mixing in the cereal to her. This is her 3rd month now. I thank GOD for all HIS support and blessings. She is doing good
and I came back to work by Jan5th. Lot of things have changed in office. Slowly, I'm getting used to it.
I'll update frequently from now on. I miss my baby in the work place. I wish I could work from home.
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