My Anxieties..........

These last two days were not so awesome. I kept worrying about my sugar levels most of the
time. My husband explained me for a long time not to worry as it may effect the baby. I'm little bit better now but not completely convinced. Monday is the test again. Fri, Sat, and Sun, I've to take carbohydrates and sunday after 12Am should go on fasting till 8AM. The nurse will draw blood at 8AM once after having Glucola second time and again after an hour twice. So total 4 times in 3 hours. If 2 results are abnormal (i.e. sugar levels are higher) I'm confirmed with gestational diabetes). I want to have a healthy baby. I too want to be healthy to see my baby growing healthy and happily. I should be there for her in thick and thin. I've so many dreams for my baby. Want to see her growing, and her tooty language, calling us "Amma" and "Nanna", taking her intial steps holding to me, walking straight growing into adult, handling her own life, her marriage....many dreams.
GOD, please don't deprive me of all these happenings.

This Monday (08/10/2009) is big day for me. I've been reading about gestational diabetes from net and part of the description is very scary, makes me gloomy and more worried. I've lost trust in my doctor. I've given my blood test last week (07/29/2009) and I was told that I'm completely normal and don't need to worry about my sugar levels at all. But after seeing some problems like nausea and sweating, called up the nurse. Then they were telling me that I'm on the upper boundary level and have to go for test again. What the hell!! Haven't been called them, what would happen!!! I'm so scared thinking of this. Have to suffer silently or what? In India, I could change the doctor whenever I want. It's not a problem at all. But here again insurance, getting dr's appointment with new doctor takes longer.